Learn These 4 Steps To Leading Like a Bad-Ass


I recently watched the movie "Bobby" and was sobered to be reminded of how the same issues we are dealing with today were alive and well in 1968. (Think deteriorating ozone layer, climate change, violence, and species extinction to name just a few.) While we have made a ton of progress, in some ways we still have barely made a dent, 40 years later.  And of course many of these issues have quadrupled in impact.

What gives? It is so time to step up the progress on this badly needed revolution of consciousness, and it starts with our selves and how we relate to each other.

Those who are stepping up to become who they know they can be will be the ones to bring about transformation on the planet.

This is the difference between ordinary leadership and "transformational leadership".

4 Evolutionary Relationship Strategies To Bring On the Revolution

Step 1. Take Responsibility For How You Are Showing Up (Physically, Mentally and Emotionally) I heard someone say that they had a sign up in their office that reads: “Please take ownership for the energy you bring to this space.” and how about this Oprah quote:

"Nobody is responsible for your life but you. You are responsible for the energy you bring to yourself and to others."

Owning your state of being is critical because you actually participate in how you show up, versus allowing un-examined energy to run-a-muck.

For example, if you get enough sleep, eat nourishing organic meals through out the day, and exercise regularly, chances are you’ll feel and perform at your highest physically.  On the other hand, when you get out of physical balance, you show up sub-par.

If you regularly examine the way you talk to yourself and you are a disciplined “gatekeeper” of your own mind and speech, chances are your mental state will be more positive and focused.

Are you letting yourself drown in one negative thought after the next or do you consciously choose your thoughts and speech?

More importantly, do you examine the beliefs that you have behind those thoughts, such as, “I’ve always had an issue with my shoulder”, “The problem is that my XYZ keeps me from being able to do this or that,” or “No one wants to date me since I am divorced with two kids”?

Or do you reframe your speech and say instead, “Up until now I’ve had shoulder issues,” “I am confident that I’ll be able to do this or that”, or “There are plenty of people who want to share life with me and my kids.”

When you feel things, do you tend to overly identify with the feeling saying something like “I am angry” instead of “I feel angry”?

Can you articulate how emotions feel in your body so it is easier to verbalize and then let those feelings move on?  Or do you suppress, stifle or ignore them?  After all, emotions should move (thus the word “motion” in emotion!).

Step 2: Bring More of Your Self to Others

Everyone rocks at something, yourself included.  Are you truly offering your best to the people around you?  Are your God-given gifts getting the full expression they deserve so that you can benefit others?

When you are in relationship do you focus on what you could get vs. what you could give?

Ask anyone in a relationship how it’s going, and they will tend to talk all about what their partner does or does not do for them.  How many would answer that question with an account of everything they do or don’t do for their partner?  Of course we want both give and take, but where is the emphasis?

We live in community. There is value in looking at the big picture first - that what is best for the whole can also be best for the individual.

When you think of how your choices or actions might benefit the community versus thinking of just your own needs, you are often rewarded 10 fold in the long run.

Step 3. Be Reliable, Accountable and Consistent

Consistency creates grooves.  Grooves create focus.  Focus creates transformation.  When you are reliable, people can count on you to keep your promises, and when you are steadfast, you build trust and belief.

And I’ve learned that when people believe…wow, anything is possible.

Moreover, when you are reliable, accountable and consistent for YOU, you’ll believe in yourself more, your self-esteem will skyrocket, and you will move mountains.

I’ve found that the best way to stay accountable for the promises I make to myself is to keep track of the times I do, and to celebrate them.

There’s nothing like positive reinforcement to shake up samsaric (repetitive, habitual) behavior.

Step 4. Design and Craft your Relationships Consciously

It is vital to design the kind of relationships you want to be in.

One summer, I made a vow that I would say yes to hanging out with a certain group of people that I admired.

I admired them for their positive attitudes, their creativity, their evolution thus far in life, and their successes.  When I was with them, I felt inspired; I felt on track with my goals, and supported in being as badass as I could be, in all areas of my life.

I consciously sought their good company and then made choices to be around them, even taking more time off of my teaching schedule. As a result, I think I have helped more people this year than any other, thanks in large part to the great company I’ve kept.

Make a list of new connections you can invite into your circle and raise the bar on the quality of your life and your own evolution!

You Can Do This

Show up as the powerful being that you know you are.  Keep on shifting and waking up, because every single one of you is here to love people, lift them up and serve the planet.